brandy's stuff

No big deal...

2010-03-12T12:47:00.001-08:00

Janna got a picture before I fell... :)

Snow Sculptures!!

2010-02-01T16:56:00.000-08:00

Winter X-Games 2010!!

2010-01-31T20:05:00.000-08:00

Today I got to go to X-Games to watch Janna slay it in slopestyle..

Top 3

Janna and I watching the mens slopestyle

It was so fun..

Janna standing on the podium.. It was SO fun to watch.. She ended up placing 3rd but everyone knows she's the best anyways! It was just so rad to watch her push herself in her riding even further and challenge all of women's slopestyle.. I'm proud of her.. She's a bad ass!!

I tried on Kirks clothes...

2010-01-19T18:51:00.000-08:00

Turns out they don't fit... ha ha

New Crap!!...

2010-01-19T18:42:00.000-08:00

I got a new board and I think it's amazing! I also have super orange pants!! Everything I ride and wear are amazing now.. Duh!

Learning Rails At Breck,,,

2009-12-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

What's going on.. lol..

Janna, Kirk and I went up on a snowy cold day to just hang out in the park at hike some rails. Turned out that Janna ended up teaching me and giving me the basics on how to hit a rail.

heck yeah..
I'm kind of amazing..

Just sitting there. My jacket matches the bottom of my board, lol.Kirk pretends that Janna is the weird one but he is in the same category as her.

Tall Man Kirk Wearing Little Man Jacket...

2009-11-26T11:19:00.001-08:00

This is Kirk wearing Jeremy's jacket.. Jeremy wasn't the only one laughing at him..

Looks like Kirk fits in with everyone else on the mountain now..

Lovin' Breckenridge And All Of It's Amazingness!

2009-11-23T13:27:00.000-08:00

Ha ha! Me and my shred stick..

Kirk and Asher..

Kirk has a bruised heel so he has been filming.. It's cool that he can still be on the mountain with all of us! Wouldn't be the same without him

Heeeeey! :)

I have a similar picture like this from a couple years ago.. Hanging out on the chair lift :)

Janna says hi too..

Mini Shred Clip..

2009-11-19T21:54:00.000-08:00

Snowboarding/Skateboarding and Ice Skating In Colorado!

2009-11-10T16:59:00.001-08:00

Snowboarding at Keystone

A picture of Breck from Keystone..

Laughing like everyone should!

Everyone in the gondola.. lol

Skating in Frisco..

Ice Skating...

I look completely retarded and I hit my head on the ice..

ha ha..

Speed racer Janna!

Janna farted and that's why Kirk's not exactly smiling.. :)

We Moved To Colorado!

2009-11-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

I tried on this amazing beanie thing.. I kind of look amazing.

Me violating the statue in town

Kirk and I

The awesome view of the mountains from town.

Yeah.. Ummm? This is part of our living room.

Kirk in the kitchen

Kirk in the living room right after he ran into the foot stool AGAIN! At least it was the other toe this time.

Janna and her office..

The high elevation is getting to her..

Me looking at the town from up higher..

The view from our front porch as the sun is going down

And as Janna and Kirk were moving their bed into our new place the mattress fell on Kirk.. It was funny.

MORE AMAZINGNESS TO COME!!

-brandy-

Fun Day At The Lake

2009-09-24T01:12:00.000-07:00

BRANDY
Yeah, I don't actually know..

It's bright.. I need my freakin shades! :)

I fall... Not do cool tricks.. ha ha.. Looks like I was letting go of the rope in this picture so I wouldn't do an amazing Brandy face plant..

Not soo bad??...

CONRAD

Conrad just hanging out on the boat..

KIRK

Doing turny things..

I kind of like the brightness of this picture.. makes Kirk look like a bad ass...

Kirk on the surfboard thing and he just landed an ollie

JANNA

Janna doing a thingy thing??

And just being a bad ass in general.. lol

Fun With Amazing Friends On Flowrider

2009-09-19T15:19:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics of what we have been up to lately..

I'm taking off for the summer to fight fire...

2009-07-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

Well.. I'm going back out this year to fight fire. Pray that it's a good season and no one gets hurt!! It can be a little dangerous :) Anways here are some pictures from the summer of 2006 and this year I will be getting waay cooler ones this summer cuz I have a better camera... Please don't be afraid to send me lots of texts and leave lots of love on the myspace and facebook! Love you all.. see you in September!

If you look to the left you can see the crews helmets walking. I felt more scared on this fire than any other one.

I like this picture a lot.. You're not suppose to straight stream the hose but I thought it was cool for the picture.. lol

Just some crew.. I don't really know what we're doing.

And some awesome smoke! The fire was getting a little close so they pulled us out of there and gave us a different job..

Well Peace out!!

-brandy-

I don't blog very much...

2009-01-19T19:03:00.000-08:00

So I don't blog a lot because I feel like there's not really a whole lot in my life to blog about. Most of the time I just put up a new poem if I have written something new but my writing has been on hold lately. Anyways, recently I just got laid off from my job so I was pretty sad about that. Hopefully in the Spring I will get to come back. Since that happened though I have pretty much been at the mountain snowboarding everyday (except weekends because it's busier). It's been tons of fun. Good thing I bought a season pass this winter or I would be BORED out of my mind! Here's some recent pictures..

Karen, Conrad and I

Me just being a dork

Conrad and I on the chair

Karen and Conrad

Aww.. :)

Beautiful sunny day

Awesome icicle picture I took!

Well, that's it for now.. see ya in another month or so.. later kids..

just another...

2008-11-23T22:02:00.000-08:00

Entering in, the loneliness within
Trying to cope, find hope for it to end
And nothing seems to make sense anymore
As I lay here so empty on the floor
Another day looking for another way
Going through another stage, just another phase
Coming upon another level,
of hopeless pain and trouble
Trying to overcome another doubt
Feeling like I will never amount
And while looking in
I can only pretend
That this reality set in front of me
Can't be something I can run from so easily
But there's so much hurt
I want so bad to desert
But everything inside of me
Feels so impossible to me
Another feeling of familiar fear
Feeling like God will never be near
And only he can help
Save myself from myself
But God I don't know what to do
When I lost and forgot where to find you...

-brandy-

Letter/Poem to my Little Brother..

2008-11-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

Dear Tyler,
Years have gone past since I saw you last. Losing you was one of the hardest things I ever walked through and somehow, someway God was with you that day. There was no way I would have known the day that God was coming to take you home. Tyler if you only knew, if I only had the words to tell you. There have been so many sleepless nights that I never knew I had the strength to fight. During those nights asleep in my bed my thoughts in my head would never let me forget any small bit of anything and everything. Too many times I would immediately awaken so heartbroken and shaken still asking why you were so unexpectedly taken. And once again reality would set in. So many times I tried not to cry but never could I hide my feelings inside. Every tear of pain would glide down and collide forming and endless faucet and I had no idea what to do or how to stop it. Believe me, I thought my heart was made of stone and I truly believed there wasn't anything that could be thrown to cause it to bleed let alone bring me to my knees to the one thing I need. And as every thread in my heart started to fray I thought there was no possible way it could ever be sewn back together and I would lie there broken forever. My life at the time was already so messed up and I knew this was Gods way of saying wake up. Not once did I blame the name of God but instead I put on a facade that I didn't need him because I couldn't comprehend. I didn't know that he had a plan that man doesn't always understand that's about more than me and my pain. It's about breaking chains to rearrange for freedom and change. Tyler God used you because he knew it was the only way to get through to me and help me see there's more to life than just me. He knew that you would already live with him eternally. And although it has hurt so much he has used his personal touch so I could also see who he is and know that I am his. And everyday I still wish it wasn't true that we didn't have to lose you and that there could have been an easier trial to walk through. I cried out to God night and day because I just wanted to know that you were okay. And God gave me that answer for you as he led me to Luke 15:32 and it read "For your brother once was dead and now is alive. He once was lost but now is found." From then on God gave me a peace that has never ceased and instantly I was finally able to sleep. He contended for my heart to impart his love within me and now I look at him so gratefully. God left a permanent imprint on my heart with his own finger print that is eternal and infinite. Tyler, I think about you everyday and I love you more than words can say. I always think about those times that were only yours and mine. For you I especially couldn't wait to see what you grow up to be. There is and will never be anyone like you and maybe that's why it was God that couldn't wait to be with you. I love you...

-brandy-

What I really see.....

2008-10-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

A mind cluttered intertwined with spontaneous craze
How these days begin to melt into a singular phase
Ones fears and tears can tear them apart
Where endless lies and cries lie deep within a heart
There have been too many times
I have let others control these feelings of mine
Leaving my heart shattered in countless pieces
Impossible to unfold all these creases
Others telling me I'm "just not doing anything right"
Telling me I'm not the one that has to be stronger while accusing me of not putting up a good enough fight
So many times I've lifted my hands in true surrender
Feeling abandoned by my only defender
What used to feel incredible, real and full of contentment
Transformed into internal hurt, pain and unwanted resentment
So busy looking in they don't even realize they put up an invisible shield
Keeping everything they stand for locked up somewhere else completely sealed
Instead releasing condemnation, judgment and unacceptance
Forgetting the real meaning of love in the depths of all of it
Preaching the love that will meet you right where you stand
And right parallel to that saying it's not enough to raise your hand
One message being spoken of love and grace
Then footsteps after leave their words invalidated and completely erased
Scared that my faith will come to a place that doesn't exist
And afraid that I might fall through the crack into a lost abyss
Fearing that I just can't do it anymore
But knowing that I truly don't want walk through that door

-brandy-

Yay.. Overtime is Over..

2008-09-20T13:16:00.000-07:00

Seems like I have been out of the loop for a long time.. I have been working 60 hours a week for the last 6 weeks making more airplane parts than I ever care to but finally I have my time and my life back! I'm stoked..

Victory through Christ!!

2008-08-16T23:47:00.001-07:00

As I focus my eyes on the horizon
I ponder the things my spirit survive on
My only strength being Jesus himself
Without him my spirit clings to my flesh
And when I look out the other way into the distance
I forget the reason for my own existence
I forget I was created for righteousness
And that I still have a place in all of this
Because I wasn't created to stand on top of the watch tower
And withhold the message and spirit in all of its power
I'm not called to keep silent and watch the enemy steal souls that are oh so loved
I'm called to tell those the way to the one and only father above
But when I look the other way the line of righteousness disappears
And the enemy replaces it with all the same and so familiar fears
I become blind to the tactics of satan and his army
And begin to fight with all the strength that's in me
I forget to call on the name of Jesus
And forget that he is always with us
But God never forgets the promises He has for every soul that he has breathed life into
He never forgets me and He never never forgets you
And he's now saying the same thing to me as he did Abraham
"Arise, walk through the length and the breadth of the land
He says, "I will give it to you"
Reminding me its not my strength that will get me through
Now I stand on the battle line faced with a decision
Am I going to fight for his promise or go back to my own prison?
But God has given me a much clearer vision
Of fighting strongholds that are fighting to steal my dominion
And now I see myself crying out the same thing David cried himself
"RISE UP AND COME TO MY HELP"
And when I called the Lord came down and saved me
And redeemed my soul back into safety
And in His solitude and in His rest
In the midst of Jesus Christ I confess
That it wasn't by my sword that I overcame
It was by the Lord Jesus Christ, this name I claim

-brandy-

At The Fair....

2008-08-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

I won a GIANT banana making the basketball into the hoop! It's pretty much bigger than me! It was funny to listen to the comments I got carrying that thing all the way back to my car.. This summer has been great so far. I have had the privilege to go out on a co-workers boat every weekend tubing and wakeboarding! I am hoping to have pictures soon from the lake. Work is great as well.. Maybe I will update my blog a little sooner... until next time my friends... laters

Many more to come..

2008-05-27T20:44:00.000-07:00

Lord, you are so much more than we know and could ever understand
I can't even fathom that you hold everything in the palm of your hand
You saw all before mans fall
And although I'm so small, you answer every time I call
Your precious words are too good to be true
But in your faithfulness you always and will always come through
Just one word from you holds the weight of all creation
It's hard to acknowledge that with me you would even want relation
You're so creative that you provided a way that could never be shaken
As long as I stand in Christ Jesus and never forsake him
Your mighty protection is just one reflection of your love and affection
And so is your love so perfect in every degree of perfection
You give us a shield of faith and indispensable strength
And a powerful refuge from a God that's so huge
It makes me wonder how in any circumstance we think we can lose
Your perfect guidance helps us stay righteous
And when we stumble you're still holding our hand teaching us to be humble
It's upon you we rely that you will supply every need in life
In every rejoicing moment or torment and strife
It was with your stripes it was sealed that in your name we are healed
And it's you that comes with a peace that will never cease
Surpassing understanding in all times of grief
You give us knowledge and wisdom, to help advance your kingdom
And joy and happiness in all of its fullness
You never reject us
Instead you love and accept us
And promise support and stability
As we walk and abide thee
There's much more fulfillment in you whose been sent
I can't believe you would want such intimate friendship
You didn't rescue me because I deserved to be free
You rescued me because you delighted in me
And in all these promises you've given us to stand on
You also promise that even your words you will never leave or abandon
And when it was you who was sitting so lovingly on the cross
You didn't count your life as a loss
Instead you saw the gain of relation with no condemnation
And from us satans chains were stolen and broken
And the enemy was shaken with great devastation
Because he knows Jesus Christ IS the promise of eternal life and salvation

-brandy-

The Cove.....

2008-05-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

So this weekend when a couple of friends and I heard that it was going to be in the high 90's we decided it would be best to be near a large body of water. We decided that the cove would be the ideal situation for a nice warm Saturday.

This is Pam.. She's awesome.. this is her sons dragon floatie..

This is Andrew (he's kind of a big deal) just hangin out on the "sand" if that's what you want to call it.. I told him that if he jumped in the water I would jump in right after him.. Immediately he just dove in .. I don't think he realized I was just kidding!

This is andrew trying to stay on the dragon.. I don't think it's big enough though cuz he's not really floating in this picture...

It was fun..

My favorite park EVER!

2008-04-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

This is Sawyer Park. I absolutely LOVE going to this park on my free time and just thinking about God and my relationship with him.. I haven't been able to go for a really long time but now that I have a little more freedom I can be here a lot more.. I love just taking my notebook and sitting on my favorite rock next to the river and writing out what's on my heart to God.. It's amazing!

Me taking self pics.. Lol.. It's all good..

Finally.. It's Been a Long Time...

2008-04-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

This isn't the greatest picture.. but it's the greatest piece of paper that says that I can legally drive a car! I am so stoked.. after a year and a half of walking, riding and riding the bus I finally have driving privileges again! BUT, I don't have a car.. lol. One step closer. I am in the process of saving right now.. in the mean time.. I am waiting for my real license to come in the mail since they give you crappy temp licenses first. It's all good! Now this is something worth blogging about! Until next time my friends..

brandy

Just sayin hi....

2008-04-06T18:15:00.001-07:00

I would call this more of an "in between" blog until something worth blogging about happens.. So hi for now and everyone be extremely blessed in all you do for Christ..

brandy

So I got a job...

2008-03-19T17:21:00.000-07:00

This is me looking like a doctor at my new job. It's funny. However I'm not really a doctor, instead I am working at a place called Epic Air building airplanes. It's awesome! Everyone there thinks I'm 16 and that alone is funny. I work with the nicest people I have ever worked with in my life. I get to work with my hands and I don't have to talk to a single customer all day (God does answer prayer!)
This is just a small snapshot of the shop. It's kind of hard to get the bigger scope on a small camera phone. There's different sections. I work in the Pre-Preg deptartment. (I think that sounds funny)

This is the lower left wing mold. Here we're laying a foam core on the multiple layers of carbon we already laid. That took forever! It's very meticulous work. You can't miss any details.. I mean it is an airplane part... The goal is that it will fly and stay flying.

We build EVERYTHING out of carbon fiber.. This material is super cool and fun to heat up.. at least to me it is.. I am easily entertained! I can't wait to see the outcome of the first wing I help build! It will be an "epic experience" AHH ha.. Not that funny.. lol

AND.. I got my own tool box WITH tools! I don't know why that's so cool, but it is. I'm just stoked to be finally working a normal job with normal hours. Monday-Friday 8-4:30pm. Weekends off. It's everything I asked God for and I don't know how I could ever get bored.. it's a place of never-ending learning.

I'm Not Much Of An Artist.. But I painted a picture anyways...

2008-03-14T22:39:00.000-07:00

I haven't painted for SO long but today I was inspired to go out, buy some paints and create a "Brandy Masterpiece" Okay... well it's not a masterpiece but it was a lot of fun to create. I recently met a new friend in Salem and we got to paint a rad picture for this rad place together. It reignited my desire to want to paint.. I think I'll do it again soon!

Love You ALL!

That's all for now...

Writing In The Sand.....

2008-02-10T16:49:00.001-08:00

There’s a girl who sits in the back yard on a swing
At the age of 9 she contemplates life, death and everything in between
Already the dark songs of suicide begin to sing
And feelings of loneliness and unworthiness begin to cling
And already there was the enemy
Trying to steal God’s will and destiny
And from then on she began to write
The chapters, the stories and events in her life
She wrote her stories in the sand
Because she had no solid rock on which to stand
And yet God was there
Even though everything seemed so unfair
And as this girl grew up with so much pain
It seemed as if she had nothing in life to gain
She began to write stories of hurt and sorrow
Always wishing there would be no tomorrow
And when she went to school she had friends of all kinds
But found that there was nothing but loneliness to find
So she began to write a new story of filling a dark spot
With everything except the one by which she was bought
And yet God was there
Even though everything seemed so unfair
And once she was out of high school nothing changed
All the feelings of emptiness remained the same
She used every drug and drank to numb the pain
Not realizing she had just jumped hard into the fast lane
On a road marked by the enemy
Marked to steal her eternity
But that didn’t stop her from falling down fast
As she wrote the story of following her own dark path
And yet God was there
Even though everything seemed so unfair
Soon everything got so out of control
As drug overdoses left her unconscious on the floor
She began to write a story of death
With every waking moment and every breath
And through all this she was protected
Although she felt so alone and so rejected
And even though she laid there broken on the floor
Without revealing himself God wasn’t going to let her go through that door
And still God was there
Even though everything seemed so unfair
What she didn’t realize was that God too had a pen
And he was writing her story from beginning to end
He was revealing himself to her in ways that left her heart pounding
Despite all the hurt she wrote and her surroundings
So one day she cried out to God to show up and cover her doubt
Or she was going to choose the easy way out
The next day she was at a dealer buying drugs
Because she didn’t believe that God would actually show up
And as she set down a bill her heart started pounding
Because written on it was “REPENT NOW JESUS IS COMING”
Here’s where God wrote a story of revelation
And gave a girl hope from all her devastation
And finally she saw that God was there
Even though everything seemed so unfair
Right then God opened up a new door
For her stories to be erased from the shore
He said, “After I erase your sins from the shore in the sand,
I will give you a solid rock as a place for you to stand”
But she kept looking back and tracking back
Trying to determine where it was she got set off track
She kept trying to do it on her own
Instead of looking to the one who is sitting on the throne
For a while she continued to write her stories of life and its trials
And was being worn down by all of its miles
So tiring were these miles as she walked in her self-willed destiny
And God kept whispering “My child, come rest in me”
This is where she finally wrote her story of surrender
That allowed God to show up in all of his splendor
This was all in God's time
This was all set before time and was so divine
Where she would learn and she would find
That she is the branch and he is the vine
And the second she turned her life over to Christ
He wrote her name in the book of life
And the Lord said-
“My forgiveness is like writing on the shore in the sand,
When the tide of my waves wash upon the land
All the stories written and inspired by your hand
Will be covered and erased by the blood of the lamb
And when the tide washes back you are given a new slate
As I open to you heavens gate
Because I am the great I AM
I give you the strength to help you stand.”
Now I write my stories on the solid rock
Glorifying the blood by which I was bought
Now I understand that God is there
And when things seem unfair I turn it over to his care
Every now and then I forget and take back the pen
And when losing control I relinquish the pen again and again
And when it seems like I’ve messed up and made God so angry
He always looks down at me so lovingly
And reminds me that he is still the same
And that his offer has not and will never change
And once again the Lord says-
“My forgiveness is like writing on the shore in the sand,
When the tide of my waves wash upon the land
All the stories written and inspired by your hand
Will be covered and erased by the blood of the lamb
And when the tide washes back you are given a new slate
As I open to you heavens gate
Because I am the great I AM
And I give you the strength to help you stand.”

-brandy-

My Funny Dog...

2008-01-29T08:25:00.000-08:00

For as long as my dog has lived she has always loved the snow! We don't get as much in Bend as we did out in Sunriver but she still takes advantage of every opportunity she gets!

Here are some more cute pictures of her...

That's all for now!! At least I finally have pictures!

The World, God and Me

2007-12-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

The world puts on this huge façade
That mutes the truth and pushes out God
The world offers only a temporary happiness
Filled with hurt, pain and unforgiveness
And temptations that are just a short term glue for our hearts
That barely holds the shattered pieces that are torn apart
A glue that breaks down in the midst of our stress and brokenness
That dissolves because of our own selfishness
We barely look at the hurt of each other
And think they might need help from another
Destinies that are never fulfilled
Because we’re full of pride and so self-willed.

So contrary to the life that God has for us
A life where he picks us up and wipes off the dust
Where he offers more than a brief relief
And rescues us from our inescapable grief
A life of destiny that lasts for eternity
That surpasses the things set in front of me
He offers restoration, relation and realization
That he is the God of all creation
And he’s the same God of forgiveness and fullness
Who shows true selflessness and realness
A God who truly doesn’t need us
But wanted relationship so bad he sent Jesus
He’s the light that’s worth the fight
A fight that’s about faith and not about sight
He’s a God that’s so full of love
That he sent his one and only son from above

Meanwhile I’m stuck in between
From the seen and unseen
Between God and this world
Emotions mixed, switched and swirled
Between the fear of God and the enemy
Blinded to the plans God has for me
The pressures of this life
Even just choosing wrong from right
Barriers that God’s breaking down
Showing me areas I’m still bound
I was lost but now I’m found
But I feel like even that’s turning around
The struggle the fight
That keeps failing by my might to get it right
The sin I’ve been living in
Sin I thought I’d never touch again
How the desires from within
Need to be cleansed again and again
Trying to let go of everything I know
And turning over to God the control of the show

God you know my heart
And the reservations that are still locked in a dark part
You know my selfish desires
That have put out and stolen my fire
And you see outside of time and space and you see my face
Yet you’re still pouring your grace in such an empty space
And you’re probably laughing at my problems watching me try to solve them
Because you’re just waiting for me to give up so that you can have them
And Lord my one prayer and cry out to you
Is that you would give me the strength to make it through
Cuz I know I’m not guaranteed tomorrow
That this is just time you’re letting me borrow
And I want nothing but to give it back to you
So I can bring YOU glory in everything I do

-brandy-

Arise O' Sleepers.. God's got something to tell us!

2007-11-15T23:47:00.000-08:00

The picture definitely isn't very clear but this is how messy my paper gets when I write. The regular camera for whatever reason wouldn't download the better pictures I took so I had to use my cell phone to take these pictures. Anyways... God's been speaking to me by putting all his thoughts into a creative format. This definitely is not my talent..

Arise, Arise...

“Arise, O’ Rise and wake up with the sunrise
Arise, Arise and set your eyes on the prize
Put pride aside and all fleshly desires
Take on my strength so you can walk through the fire
Awake O’ Child and get ready to pray
Because I’ve got something that I want to say”

O’ Lord, right now I’m just too tired
I don’t even have the energy required
To listen or even hear your voice
Or to raise my hands and choose to rejoice
O’ Lord, I know I don’t have enough of you
To make it through the things you’re taking me through
But why wake so early and pray
When I can wait till later today

“O’ Wake up and call upon my spirit
Before you get busy and are unable to hear it
Your complacency comes straight from the enemy
Awake your soul and choose to choose me
Stop allowing yourself to listen to your flesh
Awake your soul and command my spirit to be blessed”

Lord, you’re teaching me things I thought I’d never ask of
You’re teaching me of a greater love that comes from only above
You’re saying “Come read my word and see if it stands its test”
You’re telling me to put you first and forget about the rest
But how do I put you first instead of my flesh
So that you become more and I become less

“This is the fight that you’re called to fight
When you choose Christ and choose to walk in the light
Your flesh and blood and worldly desires
Must die and choose to look to something higher
And these things you must do and say
If you’re going to walk and choose my way
It is by my strength and by my mighty powers
That the enemy is completely devoured
And if you don’t learn that personally in your life
You’ll always be let down by your own might
You’re not called to understand my will
You’re not called to act on how you feel
Now stand and learn to take action
Where for the Holy Spirit you’ll become an attraction

So awake and rise with the sunrise
Arise and focus your eyes on the prize
Put pride aside and all fleshly desires
Stand and choose to walk through the fire
Awake O’ Child and get ready to pray
And don’t ask questions because I’ve got something to say”

-brandy-

You take one.. He'll take a thousand...

2007-11-10T21:12:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of me standing before God saying "WHAT! NO! Don't take that!" And God's lookin' back at me like.. "It's about time you looked this way for a change" .... Ouch! However, God is good in all he does, and while I've been kicking and screaming since this season he is embarking me upon has started I've come to realize the only way I'm going to make it through all this is TRUE SURRENDER. For months and months I've been writing in my journals.. "Lord teach me to rely on only you and show me once again what true surrender is". God answers prayer... It's just not how we expect. He's creative enough to always surpise us! So therefore he's put me in a place where all I have is him to rely upon and the only way I can rely on him is through surrender. But it's okay because he brought me here.. He'll see me through it. I've already seen him be so faithful in all this regardless of how much of a "brat" I've been. I don't know how else to explain it! It's a bran new season so here's a bran new look for my blog.. I've just decided to start over.. I wrote this poem.. and I know it's long.. but the great thing is... You can stop reading this whenever you choose..

MY GOD, MY GOD

My God, My God, why can't I feel you here

I'm scared, I'm lost, I'm full of fear

My God, My God, why aren't you near

To catch my fall, to catch my tear

You say you're always here and that you'll never leave me

But I feel that you're so much farther than these eyes can see

These temptations, these desires, that just won't flee

How I want to break through, How I want to break free

My God, My God, where are you

I'm scared, I'm lost, I don't know what to do

My God, My God, show me that your promises are true

Hold fast and draw me back to the God I once knew

Please God show me your might,

show me your might so I can learn how to fight

Please God make my heart right,

make my heart right so I can walk in the light

My God, My God, I'm crying out

I'm scared, I'm lost, I'm full of doubt

My God, My God, why can't there be an easy way out

Is there another way, Is there another route

My God, My God, please listen to me

Hear my cry and every plea...

"My child, My child, fear not for I am here

I never moved, you were the one to disappear

My child, My child, I never left you

It was when you looked away that you didn't know what to do...

Now listen to me because it's my turn to speak

Without me you'll always be weak

You asked me to change your heart

But how do I begin when you won't let me start

My child, My child, I will never leave you

Now YOU hold fast and draw to me as you once knew

My child, My child, stand strong on my love

because this world will never give you something to be sure of

Now stand and go read my 66 book letter

Those are my words I wrote that will stand forever

And those words I wrote personally to you

Because I knew you would be scared, lost, and wouldn't know what to do

My child, My child, temptation doesn't flee from you

You flee from temptation and tell it what to do

My child, my child, it's time for you to learn to stand

For I will be right there to hold your hand

My child, My child when will you look above

Instead of falling back on those things you're so sure of

My child, My child, no one else can hold your hand except for me

But even I can't do that unless you reach out to me."

O Lord, My God, I fall on my face

In shame and guilt and such disgrace

My God, My God, I'm sorry for the way I treated you

Oh how could I doubt your promises to be true

My God, My God, please change my heart

Show ME where to end so YOU can start

My God, My God, I blinded my eyes so that I couldn't see

O Lord, My God, please, please forgive me

"My child, of course your sins have already been forgiven

Now turn the other way and change the way you've been living

My child, My child there isn't anything you can do

To change the immeasurable amount of love I have for you

My child, My child, you have been set free

Now go... and tell the other captives about me."

-brandy-